When Harrison’s grim prognosis was finally and realistically presented to us, one of his many great nurses suggested pictures taken with Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep. As an L&D nurse, I had dealt with the volunteer photography group a handful of times, but it never crossed my mind when it was my own sweet baby. If you find yourself, your friend, coworker, or family member ever in an awful situation and their baby’s end of life is near, impending or has already occurred, I highly recommend a photographer come to capture these beautiful moments. If your local hospital does not connect with Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep, ask if a nurse can take some photographs for you. Even if the camera is just your cell phone, you will be happy to have them eventually. These moments you have with your child may be the only ones you have, and you may not want to look at them at first or be able to look at them, but one day you will, and you will be so glad to have them.
Of course we bawled our brains out getting our pictures taken, we bawled our brains out when they came in the mail. After Harrison died, it was all we had to remember him. Pictures and things. It was hard to wrap our minds around that at first. It was extremely difficult for me to know when I left his sweet little body at the hospital, I would never see him again.
For me, the pictures meant I could close my eyes and hold him again. To smell his sweet baby scent. It made him real. Harrison was really here for 3 months. He was really our baby and we lived and loved him in that nightmare period of our lives. We will always have him in our hearts and mind.
*Harrison was in bad shape for these pictures. He was very swollen, could barely open his eyes. He had just been diagnosed with MRSA, collapsed a section of his lung not long before this and was on antibiotics with a massive rash on his bottom. We really didn’t know how much longer he had. Every hour we weren’t there, we waited for the call that it was the end for him. That call never came, but Harrison continued to suffer.
I did not know the photographer at the time who came and volunteered her time for us, but I sought her out and linked her Facebook HERE. She is a Cleveland based photographer and we are forever grateful for her photos of our family.