One day late, I want to wish my fellow grievers a Happy Mother’s Day. It actually may not be “happy”, it may be sad and incredibly emotional for many of us. Many of us may hate this day.
This year was the first year I’ve ever heard of “Bereaved Mother’s Day”. Probably because this is the first year it actually applied to me. It falls on a day separate from Mother’s Day and it’s meant to raise awareness, acknowledging our grief, loss and hope. It’s meant to share stories of loss.
My first thought was why can’t I acknowledge my loss on Mother’s Day? Why can’t I bring up Harrison and love him and miss him on Mother’s Day? Should I not talk about him? Why do I need a special day? I don’t.
My second thought was that perhaps others struggling with miscarriage, infertility and infant loss feel like they do need a day separate from Mother’s Day purely because their loss isn’t acknowledged properly in the first place.
From my own experience, I have no issue mentioning or talking about Harrison, any day. However, I do feel that some are uncomfortable with my mentioning of his name at times. I think the problem with this is society based…having a separate day for those grieving…is that really bringing awareness and acknowledging our loss? In my opinion, the answer is no. I didn’t even know this day was a thing before it applied to me.
Perhaps acknowledging my deceased son on the Mother’s Day is a better way to spread awareness and acknowledge my loss. The majority of people celebrate Mother’s Day, right? Mother’s Day is not always peachy for everyone either. Whether families are celebrating their living mother, deceased mother, those who have lost their child or struggled with starting a family, all of you should be acknowledged, loved, and celebrated on this day. That is why I posted the above screenshot. The screenshot was taken from A Bed For My Heart’s Facebook page and I think it is so beautiful and perfect. Through my own grief and loss journey, I have connected with so many wonderful people struggling with their own individual journeys, and I thought of each one of them yesterday. All of you are deserving of this Mother’s Day.
My heart and love goes out to all of you struggling on Mother’s Day and any day that your grief is stronger than usual. May you always remember and feel good about acknowledging your love for your missing piece. May you never feel stifled in your expression. My hope is that you will continue to carry on through your struggles, not give up hope or allow anyone’s discomfort bother you. You are all mothers, and so deserving of this day. Always remember that.